[Lawak] TAKTIK ELAK SAMAN HAD LAJU

Seorang polis menahan seorang pemandu kereta kerana memandu melebihi had laju.

Polis: Encik mintak lesen....

Pemandu: Saya tkde lesen ,..lesen saya dah digantung masa saya didakwa memandu mabuk untuk kali ke lima.

Polis: Mintak road tax kereta ni..

Pemandu: Ni bukan kereta saya...saya curi kereta ni.

Polis: Ni kereta curi???

Pemandu: Ya betul...tapi saya terpikir tadi saya macam nampak road tax kete ni kat laci dashboard masa saya simpan pistol saya dalam tu.

Polis: Ada pistol dalam laci dashboard!!!!!!!

Pemandu: Ya betul..saya letak disitu selepas saya tembak pemilik kereta ni dan mayat nya saya letak kat bonet belakang.

Polis: Ada MAYAT dalam bonet!!!!!!

Pemandu: Ya betul Tuan..

Setelah mendengar kesemuanya polis tersebut menghubungi ketua polis nya. Dan dengan segera kereta tersebut telah di kepung dan ketua polis menghampiri pemandu tersebut.


Ketua Polis: Encik ..boleh mintak lesen memandu?

Pemandu: Boleh..ini dia ..lesen memandu sah saya.

Ketua Polis: Ini siapa punya kereata.

Pemandu: Saya yang punya ini road tax kereta ini.

Ketua Polis: Boleh encik perlahan-lahan buka laci dashboard ini supaya saya boleh tengok jika ada pistol didalam.

Pemandu: Boleh Tuan..tetapi tiada pistol didalam...

Ketua Polis: Bolehkan tolong buka bonet kereta belakang ini? Tadi encik penah berkata bahwe ada mayat didalamnya.

Pemandu: Takde masalah...bonet dah dibuka...tapi mana ada mayat didalamnya.

Ketua Polis: Saya kurang faham ini...polis sebentar tadi yang menahan kamu berkata..kamu tidak ada lesen , kereta ini kamu curi, kamu memiliki pistol yang di simpan di laci dashboard dan ada mayat yang dibunuh oleh kamu di simpan di bonet kereta kamu.

Pemandu: Ha yeke...kalau macam tu mesti si penipu besar tu pun ada bagitau tuan yang saya ni memandu melebihi had jugak.. penipu!!

[lawak] British Humour

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale has hit Pakistan . Two million Pakistanis have died and over a million are injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock. The USA is sending troops to help. Saudi Arabia is sending oil. Latin American countries are sending supplies. New Zealand is sending sheep, cattle and food crops. The Asian continents are sending labour to assist in rebuilding infrastructure. Australia is sending medical teams and supplies. Britain , not to be outdone, is sending two million replacement Pakistanis back. God Bless British generosity.

[lawak] Logic IQ Thinking

This puzzle is called Lateral Thinking . . .
Just Check This Out ! ! !!


Stroll down slowly and be honest to yourself.


Think like a wizard . . .

man
1. ------------
board

Ans. = man overboard

Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.

stand
2. ------------
i

Ans. = I understand

OK . . .

Got the drift ?

Let's try a few now and see

how you fare ?

3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/ g/

Ans. = reading between the lines

4. r
road
a

d

Ans. = cross road

Not having a good day now, are you ?

Redeem yourself.

5. cycle
cycle
cycle

Ans. = tricycle

Not easy to figure out ha!

0
6. ------------
M.D.
Ph.D.

Ans. = two degrees below zero

C'mon give it a little thought ! !

knee
7. ------------
light

Ans.. = neon light

( knee - on - light )

U can prove u r smart by getting this one.

ground
8. ------------ ---
feet feet feet feet feet feet

Ans. = six feet underground

Oh no, not again ! !

9. he's X himself

Ans. = he's by himself

Now u messing up big time.

10. ecnalg

Ans. = backward glance

Not even close ! !

11. death ..... life

Ans. = life after death

Okay last chance ............ ......

12. THINK

Ans. = think big ! !

And the last one is real fundoo - - -

13. ababaaabbbbaaaabbbb ababaabbaaabbbb. ..

Ans. = long time no 'C'